


Jan Effed Up

by ScrotieMcBoogerBalls



Category: Brady Bunch, South Park
Genre: Attempted Murder, Cartman Sucks, Cartman is a fatass, Gen, Jan's bad driving, Plotting to murder a cartoon child, vehicular homicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-13
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-09-17 19:37:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16980546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScrotieMcBoogerBalls/pseuds/ScrotieMcBoogerBalls
Summary: What did the unlucky middle daughter of the Brady family do THIS time?





	Jan Effed Up

"Mommy, Jan killed Kenny!" Cindy tattled one morning at breakfast. The family gasped.

"Jan," Mike said, "what you did was immoral and illegal. Just because Kenny is immortal doesn't mean it's okay to take his life on a whim. He's a living being, an innocent child-"

"Kenny's not innocent, Dad, he smokes crack and fucks prostitutes," said Bobby.

"Oh yeah. Well, it's still morally wrong to murder a small child, because small children are fragile living creatures, and murder is illegal."

"Yeah, Jan, you should be ashamed of yourself," Marcia said prissily. "You're a bastard now."

"Guys, I didn't kill Kenny, I ran over Cartman. And he survived," Jan said. Carol gasped, nudging Jan out of her chair and shoving the keys into her hand.

"You go out there and finish the job, young lady!"

"And Peter, you go with her, the body's too heavy for just one person to throw in the ditch," Mike added.


End file.
